Confessions of a Graduate – Forever Friends? The Difficulty of Keeping in Touch

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Remember when you wanted to see a friend in univrsity; all you had to do was pick up the phone and arrange to meet up that day? After uni that becomes much harder. Like some cliché narrative, after graduation you all go your separate ways; you all move back home, find jobs (if you are lucky) and make new friends or reconnect with pre-university pals and somewhere along the way you slowly merge yourself into a new/old friend group. However, you don’t forget your university buds and you promise yourself to make more an effort to meet up with them no matter how far apart you may be but to no avail due to work commitments or financial troubles.

The truth is that you don’t realise just how amazing those friends are until the possibility to meet back up with them is made more difficult. Memories of explaining what Barthes truly meant by ‘Death of the Author’ to each other around the kitchen table or playing board games with all your university chums under one roof brings a smile to your face. Nostalgic recollections to remind you just how amazing an experience university was with those you shared it with. These friends know exactly how it felt that first day you entered higher education, the time you set off the fire alarm and your first 3,000 word essay because they felt the same too. Even more so, they developed into mature academic adults the same time you did (if not for the occasional drunken slip into childishness that all uni students tend to suffer from on nights out). It is constantly thrown about that these people are going to be your friends for life but how can that be if you never find time to meet up or talk? Unfortunately, working and moving apart from one another is part of becoming an adult; earning a living and finding a career rather than a job becomes numero uno on a post-graduates list of priorities. So it is no surprise that some social groups begin to fade away into a sort of dream-like memory. But why should all of them? Surely some friendships, be it before university or during it, are worth maintaining?

So I ask you all to pick up that phone and make a long-awaited call to your uni friends because it’s always best to reminisce and giggle about the past with those involved.  Who knows, maybe with commitment to make it work, you can both make memories once again no matter how long ago you both graduated or how far apart you live from one another. You won’t know until you try.

It’s Not You, It’s Me – Saying Goodbye to a Book that Wasn’t Right for You

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Most of us can relate to having had an awkward breakup in our life and those lucky enough not to will be able to when I compare it to books you began reading but have lost interest in. There are two options here; keep reading and hope it gets better like it was when you first began or… come to realise that it isn’t what you are looking for and break its paper heart by ending it there and then. Unfortunately I’m the first option type of guy. Call it deluding oneself or arrogance but I force myself to finish a book I have started – this had led me to reluctantly reading Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5 (too weird for me) and Stroud’s The Amulet of Samarkand (just didn’t capture my interest). But is that a bad thing? Aren’t parents always telling us to try new things?

After all there are books that I am glad I have read which I perhaps did not enjoy at the time. One such example is Dante’s Inferno which I can guarantee is not a book for the inattentive. Dante’s classic needs complete attention at all times due to the lack of poetic rhythm lost in its interpretation. However, the one thought I had that helped me finish it was the overall sense of accomplishment in doing so. That and the thought about being able to name drop it at dinner parties with a glass of red wine in one hand (something I have now done). Moreover, some books, like a fine wine, do get better with time. For me, Wong’s John Dies at the End is a perfect example of this. Originally I found it to rely too much on the bizarre, leaving little room for any such narrative however, by a quarter of the way through I found myself finding difficult to put down; I was hooked. The book just needed some time to establish the character in order to guide the reader into the uncanny.

It is official, some books just aren’t suited for me but, like an ex, I know that they are perfect for someone else out there. The truth of the matter is that one should never be ashamed to admit defeat on a book nor give up to easily (all relationships require a little work even ones with books). However, next time you have an awkward moment when you see that book lying on your shelf, taunting you with the fact that it beat you, keep smiling. You gave it a go and there’s no shame in that. Pick up that book and hand it to a friend, a family member, a charity shop or a complete stranger, who knows, it might just be the right book for them.